AbsurdNoize

Horror Haunted Murder Serial Killer Stratocaster

admin — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 12:25:05 +0000

I’m not really sure what the angle seller caraguitars is trying to use here, but the BIN of $66,666.66 seems to be just a BIT high. Great description though

“Willie the Shredder killed his family with this. It Will Haunt your house. Do not buy for any reason.
This is 1 of the Ugliest Bodies You Will Come Across

As fans of the TV SHOW ” Guitars That Killed” will know, this is the guitar used by “Willie The Body Shredder” who killed his whole family by playing Crazy Train over and over until they fainted, then he hit them in the head with this.”

Halloween prop bloody Friday 13th zombie corpse life size dead haunted house 22

Current price:

$27.99

Type:

Auction

No. of bids so far:

Ends in:

0d 7h 21m

Seller: eBay

Magical Loafers!

admin — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 15:37:02 +0000

I’m not quite sure where seller auspiciousone purchases his magical loafers, but these right here are made from 100% Unicorn leather! Damn.

Mens Boat Slip On Flats Loafer Jeans Casual Canvas Lace Shoes Size US8 Blue MR12

Current price:

$19.19

Type:

Auction

No. of bids so far:

Ends in:

0d 1h 10m

Seller: eBay

A Unicorn Skull With A COA

bmurphy — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 01:34:20 +0000

It’s not often you see a Unicorn Skull on ebay. It’s even less often that you find one with a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY. Think about that! Now is that time, bugguy1 has one. And he’s only asking for $600. Seems like a good price for such a rare piece. Very few were made, apparently… Duh, God only had time for a few Unicorns, and who knows how many got on the ark …

FETAL SKULL DISPLAY,CONCAVE FETAL SKULL SYNDROME,ODDITIE,SIDEHOW GAFF,FREAK, ODD

Current price:

$28.00

Type:

Auction

No. of bids so far:

Ends in:

2d 21h 16m

Seller: eBay

Apple Employees Are Weird

bmurphy — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:24:33 +0000

Ok. Apple employees are a weird lot. On one side, you have the Apple fanboys. Those individuals that live and die for Apple products and concepts. They are extreme. And then you have the other end of the spectrum. The Apple employee who is dying to make a buck off of the Apple fanboys (if you think I’m kidding, check out how many Apple 2011 employee hooded sweatshirts are on ebay now). I can only imagine that’s the push behind this auction from mapleridgeauction. Seriously. Who needs an obsolete Apple gym pass? Ugh.

I Feel Like This Is Illegal.

morgado — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 23:30:17 +0000

Maybe the rules are different down under, but Australian youth pokehunter14 is trying to make the money to pay his brother back for the X-box he broke by auctioning himself off on eBay…

i only need $200 to pay 4 it all, i am 14 i am easy made happy i like computers and pokemon i am in year 7 i will fly any were if u pay 4 it

He’s also got a full body pic, and a link to a video of himself. Which I didn’t dare check out. This whole thing is a little too “Law and Order SVU: Down Under” for my taste.

An Absurdly Cheap Price.

morgado — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 03:09:27 +0000

This site has been really neglected huh? That’s a bummer. My fault as much as anyone’s. But I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna neglect: the absurdly low BIN on this first edition of Richard Stark’s Slayground being sold by uplandharma:

Ten bucks? For a book that usually only shows up with BINs of $60 or higher? And from the looks of things, is in really good condition for an ex library copy? Sold!

Fruit Bats, Rattlesnakes, And Crabs.

morgado — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 17:00:28 +0000

There’s nothing actually absurd about taxidermy, but let’s face it, it has a stigma. If you’re into it, odds are most people have you pegged as a weirdo. And that’s enough to make these clearance auctions from ludale1 eligible for posting. Plus this stuff is really freaking cool. I mean, who wouldn’t want a mounted fruit bat hanging on their wall, or a crab in resin sitting on their desk? Or what about a genuine rattlesnake cane? That’s some absurd pimp style, my friend.

OH MY GOD WHERE HAVE WE BEEN?!

morgado — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 14:00:29 +0000

Ok, I’ll admit it, the length of time between posts, let alone any posts that legitimately pertain to this site’s modus operandi, has been embarassingly long. I’m entirely to blame, since I’m the only person who posts here anymore. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll do my best to do better. And we’re gonna start that off with these custom action figures from jediretrocards. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Custom action figures? What’s so absurd about that?” Well, take a look.

Yup. Those are C3PO and R2D2 toys in Raiders of the Lost Arc packaging. Definitely an absurdity. Or is it? Turns out, there’s a Star Wars hieroglyphic that can be briefly glimpsed when Indiana Jones is in the Well of Souls. Hence the customs above. Well played, sir.

(For actual Star Wars toys, be sure to take a look over on our sister site Toy Noize this afternoon, as I’ll have some going up.)

Absurd Savings.

morgado — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:31:54 +0000

As I’m sure you all know by now, Borders is filing for bankruptcy, and as such is closing many of it’s locations. And one of those locations just happens to be the Borders nearest to me. Which is fine; if I’m going to shop at a big name bookstore it’s gonna be Barnes and Noble, who have always had a far greater selection than Borders. Anyways, with store closings come close out sales, which brings me to today’s Absurd Noize post. You see, because this was a close out sale, the Borders cashier would have to strip the Borders bar code sticker off your purchases, and draw a line in Sharpie through the actual bar code. Despite the fact that I was getting 70 dollars worth of books for 20 bucks (full disclosure, there was also a 25 gift card in play to get the price that low), this very seriously almost made me tell them never mind. When it comes to books, I have several absurd qualities, and one of them is to have my new books stay looking new until I’ve read them at least 3 times. Who looks at a bar code on a book jacket after you buy it? Nobody. BUT I’D KNOW. And it’s probably going to drive me insane, a fact that I know isn’t so much absurd as it just is OCD. But it makes a great excuse for me to post more books. These were my purchases:

Obviously, the savings are much, much better through eBay, but like I said: a gift card was involved. But let me tell you, the way people were acting in a store that was advertising 25-75% off but hadn’t actually marked anything higher than 30% off (except for Christmas Cards- those were the only things actually marked 75% off) was in itself ABSURD. The place was demolished, especially the DVD section. DVD’s just thrown every which way. Pandemonium and destruction, over savings so minimal that they only brought the DVDs down to the prices of a Best Buy. In a word: absurd.

iFart You Not

admin — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:44:50 +0000

Have you ever sat down to bang out a great iOS app and realize there is nothing that can top iFart? It happens to me. All the time. But now, courtesy of stuffland, I can overcome my shortcomings by BUYING iFart Mobile. Not just the app, but the whole damn company. From source code to URLs — the works. Of course, it isn’t as big as it was a few years back. But still, that cool million BIN price is likely to have someone drooling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRLLsj8DdAw

** I tried my best to avoid puns in the description. Morgado would have had a field day with this one.
*** Thanks to Robin Wauters & TechCrunch for bringing this truly absurd auction to our attention.